Britain's What's On Event Guide
Life after Boarding School - the long term impact
This event is specifically limited to those who are ex-boarders and therapists/mental health professionals.
Boarding School is so ingrained in the British psyche as something to aspire to that it is near-impossible for the ex-boarder to talk about what it was really like without sounding ungrateful or spoilt.
Therapists, on the other hand, may sense that all was not well but report an impenetrable culture of silence in ex-boarding clients. Previous attendees have noticed that such clients almost never voluntarily relay their experiences - in part because it isn't what brought them into therapy in the first instance.
“I see a lot of you lot in here!” - Rehab/Addiction counsellor - response to advert.
“I LOVED Boarding School - you don’t speak for everyone” - Ex-boarder - response to advert
Approximately one in one hundred children are 'sent away' to Britain's finest educational establishments. Yet, at the most recent event, one therapist stated one quarter of her current client list have attended boarding school - she specialises in young adults.
Drawing on my expertise in psycho-linguistics, and having had a ‘Road to Damascus’ moment, I realised no one ever asked, How was it for you?
On the rare occasions an ex-boarder might mention their past, one predictable response is, Oh, which one? as if we are being pegged into an invisible hierarchy. In reality, any mention of boarding school is usually quickly stymied by a retort declaring I wish I had gone!” Discussions then evolve into non-attendees imparting their perceptions gleaned from popular culture.
I suspected that other ex-boarders might similarly not have the language to adequately describe what life was like in near-permanent formal education. For many, relentless shame has inhibited us from verbalising the loneliness, the abuse and the violence we witnessed, or experienced first hand, day-in, day-out.
Boarding School is so ingrained in the British psyche as something to aspire to that it is near-impossible for the ex-boarder to talk about what it was really like without sounding ungrateful or spoilt.
Therapists, on the other hand, may sense that all was not well but report an impenetrable culture of silence in ex-boarding clients. Previous attendees have noticed that such clients almost never voluntarily relay their experiences - in part because it isn't what brought them into therapy in the first instance.
“I see a lot of you lot in here!” - Rehab/Addiction counsellor - response to advert.
“I LOVED Boarding School - you don’t speak for everyone” - Ex-boarder - response to advert
Approximately one in one hundred children are 'sent away' to Britain's finest educational establishments. Yet, at the most recent event, one therapist stated one quarter of her current client list have attended boarding school - she specialises in young adults.
Drawing on my expertise in psycho-linguistics, and having had a ‘Road to Damascus’ moment, I realised no one ever asked, How was it for you?
On the rare occasions an ex-boarder might mention their past, one predictable response is, Oh, which one? as if we are being pegged into an invisible hierarchy. In reality, any mention of boarding school is usually quickly stymied by a retort declaring I wish I had gone!” Discussions then evolve into non-attendees imparting their perceptions gleaned from popular culture.
I suspected that other ex-boarders might similarly not have the language to adequately describe what life was like in near-permanent formal education. For many, relentless shame has inhibited us from verbalising the loneliness, the abuse and the violence we witnessed, or experienced first hand, day-in, day-out.
10am - 2pm, £45
Inch House Community Education Centre Lothian EH16 5UF
Sat 2 March
Website:
www.personirresponsible.com